Usually when you fail at something, you don’t always see the good side right away. However, failure is good for growth, and it’s good for you. Eventually, you’ll understand the why’s.
When I was younger, I always thought I’d only get married once. I was adamant that divorce was not for me, and if I got married, that would be it. Fortunately, life doesn’t always work out how we expect. Even though I had two children already, divorce was probably the best thing I did for all of us.
Internal redirection and focus.
Sometimes, it’s easy to get caught up in life, and suddenly all you’re doing is living on autopilot. You forget about the dreams you used to have and the goals you set for yourself. At times, you feel lost, because you’re searching for that person you used to be. For me, it felt like drowning.
While I won’t get into the reasons I became divorced, I will say that since then, I’ve felt like a giant weight has been lifted off of my shoulder. Yes, life is different now, and everyone will have to make adjustments. However, we get to start over and are no longer stuck in a life that made everyone unhappy. Now, we can focus on what we really want from life and once again work towards making those dreams a reality.
Once you redirect your focus, you can switch up your priorities to accommodate your new goals. Think about what it is that is most important and will help you get to where you want to be in a set amount of time.
Since starting over, I was able to shift my priorities around. Things that were important to sustain that relationship no longer mattered. I had room to move things around, including myself and my children. We could move – should we? I could find a new job since I just graduated from a Master’s program. New opportunities opened up for us, and I was able to move things around and shifted our priorities to ones that better suited our new life.
When you fail at something, it doesn’t matter what it is – you spend a lot of time thinking about it. What went wrong? What could I have done to make it better? How could I fix it? In this sensitive time of thought and reflection, revelations come to the surface. You find the answers you were looking for and learn to live with things that could’ve been. You learn that with this failure, you get a new start to try again or to move on to something different.
In my case, I realized that there were so many good things that came out of that relationship. I ended up in a place where I wouldn’t have gone on my own, and I loved it. I met new people, made new friends, broke into a new career field, and found myself. Sometimes, it takes a failure to take us to where we need to be at that point in time.
Building up your strength.
As with anything that hurts you, you are always stronger the next time around. The lessons you learn from the experience help you to become more experienced, more cautious, and more thoughtful. Though you may take cautionary steps in the future, you know what to look out for, and you know how to protect yourself.
There are so many lessons that I learned in the past two years, and the most important one is to trust my instincts. If anything gives me a weird feeling, I proceed with caution or stay away altogether. You know how some people just give off weird vibes? Even if someone appears to be an angel to everyone else, if my gut says no, I follow it. I’m mentally stronger now, and unfortunately, very wary. Trust is hard to give out these days. However, trust is something you should very rarely hand out – people must earn it first.
Signal you to focus on self-care.
Lastly, failure can bring the whole world down, and while you’re trying to figure everything out, you realize that you haven’t really done anything for yourself in a while. You schedule a night out with friends or some other fun activity to get your mind off your recent failure, and you have a blast. A-ha! You enjoy this! You’re having fun, and you’ve forgotten how good it feels to enjoy life. Good friends will give you a little pep talk and help you get back on your feet, holding your hand if you need it. Self-care is essential, because if you don’t take care of yourself, your head won’t be in the right place. When you’ve got your head screwed on straight again, you’re ready to tackle the next challenge life throws at you.
Honestly, I had forgotten what it felt like to go out and hang out with friends. It took these events to push me to finally make time for myself. I had spa days, nights out, and I let myself open up to make new friends and reconnect with old ones. Life was finally looking great again. All because I failed at marriage.
When we think of failure, we never think good things. However, failure is good for growth, because with every challenge comes great reward; we just have to push through it and keep going. When you’re being dragged through the thickest, stickiest mud, you will come out a different person than you were before. Just be sure that you’re shaping that person into who you want to be. We all get extra chances in life, but we have to open our eyes and hearts to see them.
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