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5 REASONS WHY FAILURE IS GOOD FOR GROWTH | LIFE AS A DIVORCED, SINGLE MOM

Usually when you fail at something, you don’t always see the good side right away. However, failure is good for growth, and it’s good for you. Eventually, you’ll understand the why’s.

When I was younger, I always thought I’d only get married once. I was adamant that divorce was not for me, and if I got married, that would be it. Fortunately, life doesn’t always work out how we expect. Even though I had two children already, divorce was probably the best thing I did for all of us.

REASONS FAILURE IS GOOD FOR GROWTH

Internal redirection and focus.

Sometimes, it’s easy to get caught up in life, and suddenly all you’re doing is living on autopilot. You forget about the dreams you used to have and the goals you set for yourself. At times, you feel lost, because you’re searching for that person you used to be. For me, it felt like drowning.

While I won’t get into the reasons I became divorced, I will say that since then, I’ve felt like a giant weight has been lifted off of my shoulder. Yes, life is different now, and everyone will have to make adjustments. However, we get to start over and are no longer stuck in a life that made everyone unhappy. Now, we can focus on what we really want from life and once again work towards making those dreams a reality.

Shifting priorities.

Once you redirect your focus, you can switch up your priorities to accommodate your new goals. Think about what it is that is most important and will help you get to where you want to be in a set amount of time.

Since starting over, I was able to shift my priorities around. Things that were important to sustain that relationship no longer mattered. I had room to move things around, including myself and my children. We could move – should we? I could find a new job since I just graduated from a Master’s program. New opportunities opened up for us, and I was able to move things around and shifted our priorities to ones that better suited our new life.

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New revelations.

When you fail at something, it doesn’t matter what it is – you spend a lot of time thinking about it. What went wrong? What could I have done to make it better? How could I fix it? In this sensitive time of thought and reflection, revelations come to the surface. You find the answers you were looking for and learn to live with things that could’ve been. You learn that with this failure, you get a new start to try again or to move on to something different.

In my case, I realized that there were so many good things that came out of that relationship. I ended up in a place where I wouldn’t have gone on my own, and I loved it. I met new people, made new friends, broke into a new career field, and found myself. Sometimes, it takes a failure to take us to where we need to be at that point in time.

5 Reasons Why Failure is Good for Growth and Good for You.

Building up your strength.

As with anything that hurts you, you are always stronger the next time around. The lessons you learn from the experience help you to become more experienced, more cautious, and more thoughtful. Though you may take cautionary steps in the future, you know what to look out for, and you know how to protect yourself.

There are so many lessons that I learned in the past two years, and the most important one is to trust my instincts. If anything gives me a weird feeling, I proceed with caution or stay away altogether. You know how some people just give off weird vibes? Even if someone appears to be an angel to everyone else, if my gut says no, I follow it. I’m mentally stronger now, and unfortunately, very wary. Trust is hard to give out these days. However, trust is something you should very rarely hand out – people must earn it first.

Signal you to focus on self-care.

Lastly, failure can bring the whole world down, and while you’re trying to figure everything out, you realize that you haven’t really done anything for yourself in a while. You schedule a night out with friends or some other fun activity to get your mind off your recent failure, and you have a blast. A-ha! You enjoy this! You’re having fun, and you’ve forgotten how good it feels to enjoy life. Good friends will give you a little pep talk and help you get back on your feet, holding your hand if you need it. Self-care is essential, because if you don’t take care of yourself, your head won’t be in the right place. When you’ve got your head screwed on straight again, you’re ready to tackle the next challenge life throws at you.

Honestly, I had forgotten what it felt like to go out and hang out with friends. It took these events to push me to finally make time for myself. I had spa days, nights out, and I let myself open up to make new friends and reconnect with old ones. Life was finally looking great again. All because I failed at marriage.

When we think of failure, we never think good things. However, failure is good for growth, because with every challenge comes great reward; we just have to push through it and keep going. When you’re being dragged through the thickest, stickiest mud, you will come out a different person than you were before. Just be sure that you’re shaping that person into who you want to be. We all get extra chances in life, but we have to open our eyes and hearts to see them.

I hope you’ve found this post helpful, and if you enjoyed it, please share it on social media using the links below. Also, sign up below to receive the latest posts, updates, and more. I really appreciate it! Until next time, I wish you all well!

Ashlynn Cueto

INFJ, Ravenclaw Blogger. Headquarters: Houston, TX. Making this my most creative and rewarding life. This blog is my hustle, and I'm here to help make your creativity yours.

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  • Melina Pena

    I’ve had some extreme hardships and failures in my life, and while it was extremely difficult to go through at the time, I am semi-glad it happened! I feel like I grew so much more as a person. I feel like failure makes you grow more than a success, as weird as that sounds. I loved hearing about some of the hardships you went through and how you coped with it xxx

    Melina | http://www.ivefoundwaldo.com

    • Thanks, Melina. It really is the hard times that we learn and grow. They just push us in different ways, and even though it may seem difficult at first, we know that it’ll provide a valuable lesson for the future.

  • This is a very inspiration and incredibly well written post, love. Failure is a good teacher indeed and I couldn’t agree more with everything you just said. I maybe haven’t experienced such major failures but the small ones really did teach me a lot in life and I am thankful for that 🙂

    -Leta | The Nerdy Me

    • Thank you, Leta. Failure definitely teaches us lessons we think we don’t want to learn at the time, but eventually it makes sense. Here’s to an awesome 2017!

  • This is so well written! There are so many good things that can happen because of failure but most people tend to not want to notice that because they “failed”. Those adjustments you made and having that weight off your shoulder must have felt fantastic I’m sure. (:

    Single Vegas Girl
    http://singlevegasgirl.blogspot.com

    • Thanks, Marie. Oh yeah, the burden was most definitely lifted as soon as I realized the lessons I was supposed to learn from each circumstance.

  • Lolita “Lolitambonita” Bonita

    Ahhhh such a great post and very inspirational. It makes me feel it wont be the end of the world if I have to start again! X
    Lola Mia // http://www.lolitabonita.co.uk

    • Thank you, Lola. It most definitely is not the end of the world – just another challenge we overcome and learn from. 🙂

  • I know divorce is a huge shift in life so it’s really impressive that you are looking at it positively & with so much self awareness about your growth & opportunities that have come about! <3 So awesome!

    • Thanks, Jess. Divorce sucks, but it’s not really different from other failed relationships – just more legal stuff to deal with. I think positivity is the only way to get on with anything. Nothing good can come of negative attitudes. 🙂

  • Sam

    Brilliant post! I’m divorced too and it was the best thing I’ve ever done! I wish I had someone asking me if getting married was the right thing to do!
    Sam xox
    samslifeadventures.wordpress.com

    • Thank you, Sam. Next time around, I’ll be asking myself that question for sure!

  • Chelsea Hodges

    Great insightful post. I think it’s important to stop and step back when we “fail”, instead of being negative and making it a bad thing, we should consider the bright parts of failure. Loved this!

    • Thanks, Chelsea. Exactly – taking a look at the bright side can really change how we see things. Also, what’s your blog? I’ve been trying to find it (and you) on Twitter! Let me know so I can visit. 🙂

  • This such an amazing and insightful post! It is really relatable! I am not divorced and am not familiar with the topic however my latest job experience have been a failure. Taking a step back helped me to think, clear my mind and get back on track! So yeah, I think failure teach us a lot! xx Corinne

    • Thanks, Corinne. Oh yes, I’ve been there too. Clear your mind, and consider maybe your experiences that didn’t work out is leading you to where you’re meant to be at this point in your life. I’m sending you good vibes, and good luck! 🙂

  • Ashlynn, Yes, failure is a good thing. Oftentimes, we are taught that it is something to avoid. We should embrace it, learn what we must, and move on. It REALLY isn’t the end of the world and like you pointed out, it can be a start to something new.

    Shared on twitter for you. Have a lovely day,

    Sara @SaraDuggan.me

  • You are the definition of GIRL BOSS!! Way to channel hardships into positive energy, embracing failures as learning experiences, and emerging as an even stronger woman!

    Jenn
    http://www.honeydewblog.com

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